Elder Wilson in Utah!: It's a weird feeling...

...and I really don't like it at all. I've come to love the people here in Utah, and I know it would probably be even worse if I were somewhere around the world like Brazil or Uruguay or something more foreign, but still it's hard.

WARNING: This letter is probably going to be long.

We gave our "departing testimonies" on Friday. We met as a mission for a meeting to go over some procedures for how to plan better, and then at the end President Moffat got up and said, "Now because this will be the last time we will meet together as a mission, as a tradition we like to hear the testimonies of the missionaries that will be departing this next transfer. So we will first like to hear from Elder Barrett, followed by Elder Montesdeoca, Elder Hodge, Elder Torres, and end with Elder Wilson. After which we'll sing Hymn #100 Nearer, My God, to Thee (btw, HORRIBLE song to sing when you're sad, just letting you know.) and a closing prayer by...". So of course, when he said, instantly my heart sank to my stomach. Honestly I never want to go home. Sorry mom, don't get offended by that. ;) I just love the work here too much. Life outside of this really just doesn't seem to matter anymore! It might sound weird to hear that but it's true. So finally it was my turn, and I just started talking not knowing what I was going to say. But it felt good and I had been praying beforehand to have the Spirit guide me to what the other missionaries needed to hear at that time. I kinda broke down though and started crying. I felt like an idiot but I couldn't help it, haha. A lot of people came up to me afterwards and said that they loved it, and thanked me for being "such a good missionary". A few said that they didn't know I was even going home, which made me feel good knowing that I had kept that hidden for the most part. A few missionaries wanted me to sign their journal, so I did. Kinda like a missionary yearbook I guess!

So yeah that's where I was this last week. But, it's not all bad. I'm learning and trying to accept the fact that it is coming, in a week from today. And I think it's going well. I actually feel a lot better about it. Not that I'm excited for it to come by any means, but that I'm just going to accept what's coming and deal with it. Maybe someone's praying for me to be happier about it. If so, thank you, it's working! ;) I'm glad that I was able to witness Henrietta's baptism this Saturday. That was awesome. Such a good way to wrap up the mission. She was so INCREDIBLY prepared. Maybe you're all getting sick of me bragging about her, but maybe not. She knows the bible really well. Which is perfect! Because the people that don't know the bible, who just pick out random isolated verses to try and prove a point. She was really excited to be baptized. Elder Reed showed up! He lives downtown, so it was easy for him to come up to see it. She ended up showing up 17 minutes late! (But who was counting...) It was a little stressful but it ended up being really good. She was baptized by her friend, David Lowery from the ward. BY THE WAY, they are super awesome!! She needed a place to live, and so they offered up their home for her to stay in until she found her own place, so that she could stay in the ward. How many of us would offer up our home for a stranger in need? Not very many I don't think. But she was so happy afterwards, she was glowing!! And the next day at her confirmation when she got the gift of the Holy Ghost she was even happier. It was testimony meeting and a lady got up there and said "I don't really know you that well Henrietta, but you usually sit in front of me in Sacrament meeting, and you have such an amazing spirit about you. Thank you for being so kind and loving! Like I said, I don't know you all that well, but from what I have seen, I already love you so much!!" So awesome. I love this ward.

So then this last week, we had a miracle happen! We had been praying for someone to show up at Church that had been prepared to hear the Gospel, and we found a lady named Paw Baw!! (she's from somewhere in Asia). Her and her boys had just moved here from Ogden. And she really really wanted to come to church! So we arranged with the relief society president to pick her and her 9 year old boy up for church. And they came! We met with them later that night, and they agreed to work towards a baptismal date of May 24th!! So awesome. Then we also met a lady named Angel. She is a refugee from Africa. Her family was all killed in a war in Africa and she fled here. It's pretty sad. But she was SO EXCITED TO SEE US. Literally jumping up and down when she found out that we were "mormons" haha! It was cool. She barely speaks English though, so we had to get a french translator to help us talk with her. Man I love this work. So many cool things are happening.

I have learned so much on this mission. I am so grateful that I made the choice to go, and that I was able to grow up so much over these two years. When I left on my mission, I thought that I had a testimony of this Gospel and this Church. But since being out here, I have definitely seen that I did NOT. (In comparison at least). I can safely say that before my mission, I feel like I was definitely self centered and even though I could focus on the needs of others, I don't think I did it very well or very often. Now after being out here, serving others literally all day every day, I feel like I am way more focused on helping others out and don't really care what happens to me. Obviously I'm not perfect and obviously I need to improve a LOT still, but I feel that personally I have come a long way. I now know for a FACT that God is real and that He loves me. I know for a FACT that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and that He loves me as well. I know that They both love every single one of us, and that They know us PERSONALLY. I absolutely know that. There is so much more to life than any of us can even imagine. The Atonement, it's real. There are so many things that it can help us with. Our sins, the temptations we go through daily, our weaknesses, our sicknesses, our pains, heck even the bad hair days. I can definitely attest to the fact that it can heal us. Physically, emotionally, and mentally. And obviously spiritually. The more I know and the more I learn, the more I find out that I don't know much of anything, ahhaha. It's pretty humbling.

I can honestly say that I don't have any regrets about my mission. I'm not perfect, I'm not a perfect teacher or testifier, but I did try. And I learned from my mistakes. I love my mission. I can't wait to never stop sharing the Gospel.

"These things write I unto thee, hoping to come unto thee shortly; But if I tarry long, that thou mayest know how thou oughtest to behave thyself in the house of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth."

I love you all!

Elder Bryce Wilson